QUESTIONS TO ASK BEFORE YOU GET A DIVORCE
Jan. 15, 2018
Making the best decisions in life is often about the questions we ask, and trying to decide whether you should divorce or not is no different.
If you’re considering getting a divorce — and you’re going back and forth about “pulling the trigger” — you can rest assured that nearly everyone else who has decided to divorce went through the same kind of deliberation.
These questions may help you decide if divorce is right for you
What follows are a series of questions that every person who is planning to get a divorce should ask him- or herself. Asking these questions, and answering them, will help you get to the root of the decision so you can weigh your options with a little more clarity.
1. Why are you considering divorce?
Try to be as objective as possible when answering this question. Have you and your spouse simply grown apart and you feel disconnected? Have you or your spouse done a poor job of resolving conflicts? Are either of you refusing to communicate about important issues?
Maybe your feelings are just gone. Maybe your spouse has done something to violate your trust. Does he or she have an addiction problem? Did your spouse steal money, cheat on you, get abusive or do something else where the clear decision is to get a divorce?
2. Have you done anything to try and repair your marriage?
Marriage counseling has helped numerous spouses resolve their differences. Unless you’re absolutely certain that divorce is the answer — and often this could be the case — an experienced marriage therapist can do a great deal to help couples through their difficulties.
3. How will your divorce affect your children?
Every marriage and family is different, and so is every child. Avoiding divorce to protect your children is never the answer. Children can recover from a divorce, and they are better off with separated parents than with parents who are constantly engaged in a toxic, non-communicative or disconnected relationship. However, it’s important to figure out how your divorce could affect your children so that you can prepare for it and soften any potentially ill effects.
4. When were things good in your relationship?
This is a very interesting question to ask because, if there was once a time when things were absolutely wonderful, two spouses might find the motivation to get back to that place. Other times, spouses might say that there was never a good time, or that it’s impossible to ever get back to the good days. Either way, thinking about this question is a great way to help you decide if it’s time to divorce.
When you know it’s time to divorce
Eventually, everyone comes to a decision about when it’s time to divorce. Once arriving at this decision, spouses are well-served to educate themselves about the divorce process in Texas so they can gain insight into their legal rights and options.
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